INDAY JOKES

Amo: Inday, bakit nag kalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occured wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
Amo: (nosebleed)
Dear Mom,
Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed a moment ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn’t enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabily run academe. Oh, such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can be such a strenuous employ!
Your daughter,
Inday


Dear Inday,
Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital nanay mo. Dumugo ang ilong kakabasa ng pesteng sulat mo!
Love,
Tatay

See to it that professionalism is always upheld in the workplace. Although its due to our own personal issues and biases, One must see to it that relationships among co-workers do not cross the border of being too close for comfort. Doing so will greatly cloud objectivity and fair judgment. In general, workplace love affair though possible, is not very advisable.
- Sabi ni Inday nang bastidin ang manliligaw na hardinerong si Dodong.

Amo 1: Inday ano gamit mo sa katawan? Ang kinis mo kasi eh.
Amo 2: Siguro gumagamit ka ng papaya…
Ama 1: Baka naman kalamansi?
Inday: NO! …. ONLY BELO TOUCHES MY SKIN, WHO TOUCHES YOURS?
Amo 1 and 2: LUPET MO INDAY!!!

500 - globe plan subscription
1800 - glutathione tablet
600 - olay total effects
1500 - crocs / havaianas
2000 - for mama
- binabudget ni Inday ang sweldo nya

Tackatack! Tackatack! The sound I make and hear everyday. Hoping that someone would notice. Glancing at every eye, hoping to catch their attention. Every red, green and gold boxes, sweets and mints, and scribes on paper bought, will get me through the day. But I’m just one of many. Maybe the day will bring more than just a cent. Maybe. Just Maybe.
- Lando (yosi vendor) utol ata ni inday!
HAR-HAR!


text messages from nicole:

Biodata ni Inday:
Name - Inocencia Binayubay
Nickname - Inday
Age - 18
Parents - Aling Seling at Mang Andoy
Siblings - Iying 13; Itoy 8; Ikling 5
Educational Background
College - La Salle 2nd year (scholar)
Highschool - P. Gomez Highschool (Valedictorian, Best in English)
Elementary - Sta. Monica Elem. School (Valedictorian, Best in Dancing)
Work Experience - 3 years, household service manager (katulong), Mr & Mrs. Montemayor.

Menikanikow ni Monico eng mekina neng menikew ni Monica…
Peskow, peksew…
Booteke. Betooka…

Damn! I can’t deliver the Filipino tongue twisters!
- Si Inday, nagsasanay

“The oil normalizing series specifically designed for my oily skin not only works physically on the skin surface, but penetrates deep into the skin layers to normalize oil secretion for a healthy and long-lasting oil free skin.”
- paliwanag ni Inday habang nagpapahid ng chin-chan-su

I wouldn’t go down that road again. I wouldn’t think about the love-who-was-gone or the life that was snatched away from me, excised as cleanly and completely as a tumor, leaving not even a scar for me to cherish, to remember it by.
- nag-eemote si Inday dahil nagtanan si dodong at ederlyn.

Sa resto:
WAITER: Ano po order nila, maam?
AMO: Yung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw Inday, ano sayo?
INDAY: I would like to partake of a dish of sauteed pork and chicken, boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts, with copious amounts of garlic, onion and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with a generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice.
AMO: Iho, pa-order daw ng adobo with rice.

JEEPNEY DRIVER: Hoy! Bakit sais lang ang binayad mo?! Syete na ang pamasahe ngayon!
INDAY: I am currently enrolled in a 2-year vocational course in an academic institution. Therefore, I am a student and, by this fact, I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because that is according to the law, as stated in the fare matrix.
JEEPNEY DRIVER: ahh…

…Its absurd!! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they s*ck!
- si Inday kasama si Junior sa principal’s office (pasosyal ng pasosyal si Inday)

“Don’t limit my capacity to the four corners of this luxurious abode. Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences.”
- Inday, nagrereklamo kasi ayaw siya isama ng amo sa outing sa Enchanted Kingdom.

“I pity you for you have degraded your very own pride & dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for wealth. And I hope that one day you’ll realize that you should not use humans as means of your ends. As what the great philosopher Kant uttered, “Treat a man as an end in himself!”
- sagot ni Inday sa holdaper na nangholdap sa kanya.

“Shut up, coz if you don’t, the bullet in this gun will rest upon your empty head!”
- sagot ng holdaper. (ang sosyal na talaga nila!)

“Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su comprador avido diario. Por favor?”
- si Inday tumatawad sa palengke nang sinama siya ng amo sa Espanya.

Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce.
Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil.
Lychee and peach salad with sour cream and cream chees topped with lemon zests
- baon ni Junjun sa school na inihanda ni Inday.

Love - a widely misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and lips to pucker!
- Inday, gumagawa ng blog niya sa Friendster.

(Dahil Inglisera na talaga si Inday, nakahanap ng katapat)
Kausap si Lornang labandera…
INDAY: Hey! Our majesty said wash that white clothe because that is the only white clothe of her, understood?
LORNA: Clothe! Only one? Duh! Would you mind to fill up those empty spaces of your brain, Idiot! I don’t know why people like you still exists, you’re just a scrap of humanity! Now, get lost!
INDAY: (luhaang umalis) “Ambot sa imo!”
(Hehe, yan ang yabang kasi ni Inday!)

There are tulips in the street, there are tulips in the park, but nothing compares to our two lips meeting in the dark.
- pamatay lines ni Dodong kay Inday.

It does not matter if you are the wife, or you’re the mistress. What matters is you showed your love, you experienced the joys and pain in loving. Coz from there, you’ll learn… that loving is not always easy.
- movie review ni Inday sa “A Love Story”! Bongga!

Why are you quoting and spreading everything that I say? Am I a celebrity?
- Inday, lagot kayo… nagrereklamo na! kulit niyo kc e.

I was shot by a 9mm bullet at the head damaging my entire stupid brain and my fucking skull so that I will die and stop speaking English preventing people from nosebleeding!
- in loving memory of Inday! (ayan patay na siya! Sa wakas tapos na ang mga kahibangan)

To all my supporters: My rumored death is not true. I would like to clarify that I am in the province spending my vacation on a cruise with my family, relatives and friends. Remember my request for a vacation leave and an advance in allowance? That was approved. So to my nonsupporters and critics: watch when I go back to the city, you all will be more interested and surprised.
- Inday, umalma sa bali-balitang patay na siya.

“For it wasn’t into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It wasn’t my lips you kissed, but my soul. May these words hold true for our romance…”
- Love letter ni Dodong kay Inday. (Kala mo si Inday lang humihirit!)